literature

Something's really don't change ~ Pt 3 [JOHNLOCK]

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It had been almost three weeks since the night Sherlock had returned to 221B and for John Watson life was back to normal, almost. The only differences were; no one could know Sherlock was back so Sherlock couldn't go outside or go of and solve crimes, they had also had to leave 221B, at least for the time being, and John now knew that he had feeling for Sherlock. He had realised this fact long before that damned kiss though, it had been back when Sherlock jumped and John had thought that he had lost his best friend for John to finally understand.

John could remember going back to therapy after Sherlock’s 'death' and his therapist asking him to tell her what he wished he had said to Sherlock but he hadn't been able to say it. How could he say to her that he was in love with Sherlock when he was still trying to wrap his own head around it? It was like that saying "you never realise what you have until its gone."  It had been agonising for John, especially after the dreams started happening, dreaming of what could have been and then waking up to the hell that his life had very quickly became. John had lost count of the amount of times he had prayed for another chance, a second chance to do it right, promising everything and anything he had to offer in return. And now he had been offered another chance but was too scared to take it. Scared that Sherlock didn't feel the same but more importantly scared that Sherlock would rip out his heart again. But john knew the truth: his heart was Sherlock’s and had been for a very long time.

They hadn't spoken about the kiss, not once. The just acted like it never happened. Like it was nothing more than another one of John’s dreams. It was driving him insane! He didn't know how to think or feel about the entire situation, did Sherlock feel the same? After all he had kissed him back! But if he did then why was he acting like the kiss had never happened? And if he didn't feel the same then why had he kissed him back?!?! Sherlock was driving John crazy! And John didn't know how to handle it.

They were sitting in the 'living room' of their new apartment, the place was small and shabby but it was cheap and would have to do for now. There was only one sofa which folded out into Sherlock’s bed, John had originally intended to take the sofa bed but Sherlock had insisted that john take the bed room and in the end John hasn't seen the point in arguing about it. At either end of the dark green sofa were two rickety side tables, with an old rusted lamp on one and a rather bashed in alarm clock in the others, directly in front of the sofa was a small, slightly rotted, wooden cabinet with an old faded grey TV on top.

The two men were seated on either end of the small sofa each with a mug of tea in hand and watching some random crime channel that neither of them were really watching, what was the point? Sherlock had already told John that it was the teacher who had committed all the serial killings after the only watching the first 5 minutes of the program and John knew better than to doubt Sherlock deductions. So they both just sat there, in a rather awkward silence, bored. John wanted to say something to break the silence but had no idea what to say.

"So..." John began rather pathetically "... So how are you?"

John mentally kicked himself, how are you? That was the best he could do?!?! Sherlock stared at him rather amused for a moment before saying,

"I'm fine John, how are you?"

John smiled slightly, he was glad that Sherlock was indulging him,

"I'm great." He said a bit too enthusiastically. Sherlock chuckled as he reaches over and rumpled Johns hair lightly. John batted the hand away but was laughing. After a moment Sherlock said,

"I am sorry John." John was taken aback for a moment; it was very rare for Sherlock to offer up an apology by his own free will.

"For what?" John asked still slightly dazed. Sherlock turned so as to look him full on, his silvery blue/green eyes wide and hypnotising.

"For leave. For lying..." Sherlock flinched slightly before continuing "... For hurting you." John couldn't look at Sherlock, afraid that he would see his eyes watering slightly at the memories of all though pain filled thinking that his friend was dead.  

"Shit, John I...."

"Just don't Sherlock." John pleaded. But Sherlock didn't listen to him, like always.

"I did it to protect you, you Mrs Hudson and Lestrade. He would have had you all killed if I hadn't." John knew that by he Sherlock meant Moriarty.

"Okay but you didn't need to lie to me, you could have told me!" John said starting to get angry at Sherlock. After all the pain he had put him through he had the nerve to sit there and say he done it to protect him?!?!

"I couldn't..." Sherlock began but John interrupted him,

"Don't you trust me?" John’s voice was louder than usually but he wasn't quite shouting yet, though he wanted to.

"It was never a question of trust; I did what was best for..."

"No!" John was shouting now " no, you did what was best for you, with no thought to anyone else feelings, like always! It's no wonder you've been alone for so long!" John regretted the words as soon as he spoke them but it was too late to take them back now. John watched as Sherlock’s face hardened and he stood up, it wasn't until then that John realised that he was already standing. When had he stood up?

" I did what was best for everyone! And I chose to be alone! I'd rather be alone than spend my time making an utter fool out of myself chasing after people who are clearly not interested!" Sherlock’s words cut John like knives leaving him broken and gasping for air. Tears pricked his eyes and this time John didn't have the strength to stop them. John couldn't believe that he had been so stupid, of course Sherlock had never been interested in him, after all he wasn't cleaver or brilliant, nothing special. Why would a man like Sherlock want someone as ordinary and mundane him? John could see the regret in Sherlock’s eyes but it was too late, John knew the truth now.

"Sod this" John muttered and walked towards the door, not bothering to get his coat.

"John wait!" Sherlock said as he grabbed his arm "John I didn't... I mean I wasn't.... I'm sorry"

John just shrugged him off; he couldn't deal with Sherlock just now, and walked out slamming the door behind him.

John dried his eyes with the back of his sleeve as he took the stairs three at a time. John was in such a hurry to escape that he didn't notice that someone was standing at the bottom of the stairs until he crashed into them. Sending the books that had been in their hands flying. John mutters an apology as he bent down and started picking up the scattered books. Once he had picked them up he turned to see a young woman staring at him, one hand over her mouth as if she was trying to stop herself from laughing. John blushed as he handed the books over,

"Sorry." He muttered quietly, looking down at the ground. The girl let out a delicate giggled and he looked up at her, she was very pretty, small framed with blond hair and big blue eyes.

"It’s okay," she said her voice small and very feminine "There’s no need to apologise" John smiled slightly at her as she continued” though if you really sorry there is a coffee shop just down the road..." She trailed of suggestively. John was about to decline when he remembered Sherlock’s words. Determined to prove Sherlock wrong John smiled at the girl,

"Want to go for a coffee? My treat?" The girl smiled and nodded her head causing her blond curls to bounce slightly.

“Just let me drop these off." She said nodding towards the books

Once she had returned they started walking down towards the coffee shop. She was a very pleasant girl John noted to himself as he found himself smiling and laughing with her.

"Oh..." John said remembering his manners “I’m John by the way."

The girl smiled warmly up at him holding out her hand to John which he took in his,

"Mary"
Ohhhhhh no Sherlocks really messed things up this time x

Links to parts

Part 1: crimsonromancex.deviantart.com…

Part 2: crimsonromancex.deviantart.com…

Part 3:
crimsonromancex.deviantart.com…

Part 4: crimsonromancex.deviantart.com…

Part 5: Coming soon!!!
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